Lambeau Lampoon

Search This Blog

This new Culvers add is LIT!!

on June 11, 2020

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Get link
Facebook
X
Pinterest
Email
Other Apps

Comments

Ahsoka Tano is very important

Brian Gutekunst and I were crushing High Lifes while fishing this week. I asked why he didn’t draft a receiver like how all the Rodgers carpet-munchers were begging for. He told me, “Charles, I drafted my receivers in 2018. Marquez Valdes-Scantling and Equanimeous St. Brown are my guys, and that’s all you fuckers are going to get. And I signed Fun Cheese this winter. You like Fun Cheese? I like Fun Cheese. He’s big and slow, the fan base is going to love him.” He leaned back, whipped his dick out, and pissed into the lake without breaking eye contact. “You like how I draft, man?” He’s a weird dude. Devin Fun-Cheese. The marketing possibilities are strong, but limited. If anyone truly believes the offense is going to be worse in Matt LaFleur’s second season, you need to put some oven mitts on and go fuck yourself. The triplets of Aaron Rodgers, Aaron Jones, and Davante Adams combined with a top-five offensive line is going to put up a lot of points. It will be bette...

SCOUTING REPORT - New Orleans Saints - week three

At the Superdome used car lot, 7:20 Sunday night TV - NBC (Mike Tirico, Fucking Cris Collinsworth, and Michelle Tafoya) Line - Saints by 3 All-time series - Packers lead 16-9 TASTY TIDBITS Where the hell is my man, Al Michaels? He calls the games with the gambling audience close at heart, politely dropping where the spread and over/under stand come the fourth quarter. Mike Tirico is a gift to this nation which we do not deserve. He's brilliant at everything he does. Nothing against him at all. He's awesome. Al is slowly retiring. This is his first bye week from NBC. They anticipate three to five of these this season with Tirico taking his spot. His contract with NBC runs through the end of next season, when NBC hosts the Super Bowl. Al is a class act. I gave him free eggs when he stayed at the Edgewater in the good old 90s calling a preseason game at Camp Randall. He called the earthquake in game one of the 1989 World Series. He called the Miracle on Ice. And, "He did WH...

Ask Jeff Query

The Packers drafted speedy, white wide receiver, Jeff Query, in the fifth round of the 1989 draft out of Milliken University in Decatur, IL. Jeff quickly became a fan-favorite because he looks like every white dude in Wisconsin. Both of my readers have been flooding my inbox with questions and nudes, so I asked Jeff to step in and answer reader advice inquiries. Dear Jeff – My husband and I have not been intimate in several months. This is bothering me, he’s getting frustrated, and I’m afraid I don’t find him attractive anymore. What can we do? Messed up in Menasha Dear Messed Up – It’s OK. Many relationships experience rough patches like this, I guess. What kind of car does your husband drive? If he drove an IROC-Z like me, I bet you wouldn’t have a problem starting your engine, or getting your fluid levels checked, or flashing your tail lights, or any other auto-themed innuendo for boning. Call me. Jeff Dear Jeff – My daughter and I d...

Powered by Blogger

This new Culvers add is LIT!!

Comments

Post a Comment